Hello, I’m Aimee and I have a womb invader. A surprise one. Like a squatter, with lots of rights. Rights like weeing 9 times a day, eating odd combinations of food like cheese puffs and strawberry jam and disliking the idea of sleep.

It has been squatting in my womb for 17 weeks now and on many occasions has made me vomit. Like pull over on the motorway vomit. So much so, that now a Bag For Life sits at the top of my handbag because others seem to have holes in. Much to my dismay.

Anyway, this little place of my own will be full of pregnancy blunders and sarcasm…I’m sure of it. I may come across as a heartless cow but I’m really excited! I just can’t suppress the urge to be sarcastic. I hope it doesn’t transfer to my unborn child.